Whether you have been invited to an Indian wedding or are throwing your own Hindu wedding ceremony, you may be curious about exactly what is going to happen. Guests may be unaccustomed as they come from different cultural backgrounds and those having the wedding may be an inter-racial couple or just a younger generation unfamiliar with many of the rituals.
This guide looks at exactly what to expect in the coming days, weeks, months and even years worth of events and rituals that go into the big day. It may seem daunting at first but each step of the process is filled with a lot of joy as well as effort.
Marriages, according to Hindu beliefs, are made in heaven and once you are married, the bond is supposed to last for seven lifetimes. It is considered to be a turning point in an individual’s life as he enters the second important phase or ashram of his life – the ‘Garhasthyaashram’.
A lot of importance is associated with marriages in Hinduism as it is considered to be one of the most important duties of a man’s life. Through marriage, he is paying his debt to his forefathers, by procreating children and ensuring the continuation of his family’s lineage.
Hindu weddings are a long process with various rituals that may take days to be executed. Every single custom and practice in a wedding ceremony has deep philosophical and spiritual significance. Throughout the world, Hindus adhere to these set of rituals and continue on the traditions of marriage that are unique amongst those in the world.
If you are planning on having a Hindu wedding or part of the wedding party, you’ll need to know how much a long term commitment you’re getting into. A long term commitment shouldn’t seem so daunting if you’re the bride or groom given the context, but if you’re a close friend helping with planning, it may seem overwhelming.
A Hindu wedding venue will often be booked over a year in advance, so to avoid disappointment, at least six months of pre-planning is required and this will help you deal with logistics, music, catering, transport, decorations and so much more.
Everyone! A Hindu wedding is a big event in the life of the bride and groom. There are rarely small ceremonies or intimate Hindu weddings. It goes against a lot of the philosophies of the ceremony, so you can expect a big affair.
All the family and extended relatives are invited as well as close friends to the bridal party. Many of the rituals and ceremonies are big parties and celebrations so it makes a lot of sense for there to be a lot of guests. With the couple about to start their new adventure together, what better way to celebrate their new married life than a party?
Brighter is better. Don't be afraid to wear a bold colour. This will help you fit in with the Indian guests who'll be dressed in vibrant colours and eye-catching jewellery. If you don't have a traditional sari, a jewel-tone dress with a shawl is appropriate too. It is acceptable to wear western formal wear to a Hindu celebration but it is encouraged to buy traditional attire.
For the men, suits are acceptable if that is what you are comfortable in. If you wish to wear something more traditional, there are a number of mens outfits that you can wear. The main two are Kurta Pajamas and Sherwanis. Bright colours are encouraged but choosing one you are most comfortable in is the main thing.
Two of the most common misconceptions about Indian food is that it's all spicy and it's all vegetarian. In reality, it depends on which state the couple's families are from. When served in the UK, though, the food tends to be North and West Indian.
There will be both food during the day and at the evening reception and there are some slight changes in the food options depending on the time. One example of this is that the naans are not served during the day but they will be available during the evening meal. Instead, puris or bathuras are served during the day.
There will be no meat allowed during the day if there has been a religious ceremony but at the evening reception there will likely be both vegetarian and non-vegetarian options. This again can vary depending on the wedding and families but there are less restrictions. The food during the day may consist of two vegetarian curries, rice and dhal, puris or bathura’s, something savoury like samosas with chutney, popadums, pickles and something sweet like Shrikhand Gulba Jamun.
Indian weddings are definitely a time to show off, so what better way to show off than having the most rich and lavish dishes, and lots of them. This is what will happen at the evening reception, like any wedding there will be a wide array of exciting canapés or starters to enjoy. Alongside this there is the evening meal, expect lots of paneer, creamy curries, tandoori meat, and buttery naans. Often there is a dessert table, which typically includes cake, kulfi (Indian ice cream) and decorated sweets made from nuts. There can be sometimes up to four stations of chefs preparing food for guests.
A traditional Indian wedding can last up to five days, but most last for three days. An overview of the three days is traditionally the following:
- 1st Day – The Ganesh Puja otherwise known as the Mandap Muhurat & Pithi. This is often followed by a Mendhi night/Sangeet night.
- 2nd Day – Grah Shanti which is also called a Sathak/Mandvo or Mameru ceremony
- 3rd Day – Wedding celebration and usually an evening reception
On the first day, a priest will often perform the Ganesh Puja, a ceremony that usually happens at home with only the couple, the bridal party and close relatives in attendance. In all marriages, Ganesh Puja signals the start of the rest of the wedding rituals. The family will offer a prayer to Lord Ganesh, requesting peace and harmony to prevail during the ceremony. Lord Ganesh’s blessings are sought for an auspicious beginning for the couple.
Other things that occur on the first or second day is the mehndi ceremony. For this, the bride and her female friends and family members will have intricate henna patterns drawn on their hands and feet. That evening, the sangeet takes place. Every wedding guest is usually invited and it can involve the introduction of the couple's families, mingling, a meal and dances or other performances.
On the third day, the main wedding ceremony, cocktail hour and reception take place. You may be invited to the last day of the events or to any part of the three-day celebration.
As mentioned above, there are at least three days worth of celebrations to undertake at a Hindu wedding.The precise details and rituals performed in a wedding ceremony vary from region to region and often take several hours to complete. A brief introduction to the stages of a Hindu wedding ceremony are below, for more specific details please read our article on ‘Hindu Wedding Traditions’:
- The Baraat / The Jaan
- Pokwanu - Welcoming of The Groom
- Ganesh Puja
- Vaarpooja
- Kanya Aagman - The Arrival of the Bride
- Granthibandan and Varmala
- Kanyadan
- Havan
- Mangal Fera
- Saptapadi - The Seven Steps
- Sindur & Mangal Sutra
- Akhand Saubhagyavati – Blessings From Married Women
- Aashirwad
- Vidaai
- End of the Ceremony
After the ceremony comes the wedding reception. This has a completely different feel to the ceremony itself. It's essentially a fun party! It will be full of Bhangra, English/Western and Bollywood songs to dance to. But don't worry if you're not comfortable learning new dances, you'll most likely hear contemporary Western music at the reception too.
The reception is where the couple's families will throw a lavish reception party to finally let loose. Part of the celebration includes speeches and loved ones singing, dancing and performing routines for the couple. Following this, a huge sit-down dinner and a dance party will take place. Bring your most fashionable, though comfortable, dancing shoes - you'll need them!
Here at Ladywood Estate, we can make sure you have the perfect setting for a traditional Hindu Wedding. Ladywood Estate embraces all faiths and traditions. The Orangery offers a magical setting for your ceremony and The Pavilion for dining and dancing the night away.
We offer one, two or three days of celebrations – the choice is yours. Get in touch today!
